Everyone has, at some point in their life, heard the phrase “when you hit rock bottom, that’s when you start looking up”. I had heard it plenty, seen it plenty, and read it plenty… but it was really nothing more than a cliché inspirational phrase. I certainly never thought of it as a “faith phrase”. I had heard it said as a faith phrase, but I truly never saw a connection from the saying to my life. Until I hit my rock bottom.
Now, before I go any further, everyone’s rock bottom is different and yes, you can have more than one in your life, but this happened to be the roughest patch that I have personally been through.
My back went out, not a little, but a barely-able-to-move blowout. One day I was hurting, but functional, and the next I was unable to put my own shirt over my head. Even little things like sitting down/standing up were difficult at best. All I knew was that something was very wrong and I didn’t know to what extent. After a trip to the doctor and several days of rough and unexplained pain, they found that my spine was curved the opposite way and it was causing nerve and muscle pain/problems. After a few months of rehab split between a chiropractor and a physical therapist, I was feeling much better and finally functional again. The thing is, this was a very trying time for me, physically and mentally.
At that point in my life, my faith seemed to be at an all time low (even though I was in denial about it at that time) and my back going out was the icing on the cake of rocked faith. You see, at first diagnosis, they didn’t know if I’d ever be able to go back to my job (nail technician) again. That’s not a big deal for a lot of people, but those of you that know me, know that I trained to be a nail technician straight out of high school and my husband is in his senior year of college (yes, he works, very hard, but he has to go to part time during his school months). We make enough to live happily and have money for some of the things we want, but having one of us out of work for an extended length of time was not good and the thought of not being able to go back to the only field I’m really trained in was even worse.
We made it through (thank you God for help and for letting us have put back money). I was out of work for almost three months and had to baby step back in for a while after, but I was able to return to the career I had been building. So, I tell you guys all of this, not to get pity, but to prove that “when you hit rock bottom, that’s when you start looking up” is one of the truest phrases there is. During my time out, I spent a lot of time on the couch – on my phone. There wasn’t much else I could do (I could barely walk). One day I came across a video on Facebook of Pastor Michael Todd from Transformation Church. He was preaching a series called Relationship Goals, and after about a minute I was hooked. I proceeded to watch about 3 of the videos from that series (1 hour long each) and I was in tears by the end of every one. The next day I watched the remaining sermons from that series. The following day, I started another one of his series. This continued and is still going on now (his Grace Like A Flood series just ended and let me tell y’all, it was life changing). I had started to find faith like I had never had before. It was like everything around me changed and for the first time in years, I was getting in my Bible again and praying with my heart, not just my words.
In a time where I felt helpless, hopeless, scared of the future, and downright worthless, I realized that God was with me. I had help, hope, a future, and worth, through HIM! Y’all, I am just going to be real with you, I went from crying everyday from anger and sadness, to crying tears of joy! From that moment on, my faith had been renewed. Looking back, I needed that time out to reconnect with God. Now, I’m grateful for something I once thought was the worst point in my life.
Our God is so good, when I felt at my lowest, He put his hand down and was ready for the exact moment that I started looking up. I’m not perfect by any means, and I still have days that I struggle with frustration at not knowing His plans for me, but I haven’t doubted his love for me since. I make it a point to put God first and have him be the center of my life. I make it a point to trust His plans for me more than my own, and I don’t go a day without thanking him for everything that he has done for me.
If you are at rock bottom, whatever your rock bottom may be, please please please realize that God is still with you, all you need to do is start looking up.
Isaiah 41:10 – So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.