Hey everyone! Like always, I want to keep things real with y’all. So, today I want to talk about being a wife. Oh yes, I’m talking about the struggles, the great times, and the insecurities. Everything out in the open, no lies, no fluff, all 100% real life. Wives, you can (most likely) relate; husbands, y’all might want to read for additional information. To all who read, let’s do this. The real starts now.
First, I want to talk to y’all about the insecurities. I think that everyone at some point in their lives will feel insecure about something. For wives, I think that insecurities are very much the same as high shcool girls. I don’t care if our husbands tell us how beautiful we are 10 times a day or 100 times a day, we will always find flaws with ourselves. I can almost guarantee that you, as a wife, have looked in the mirror and thought “Well, maybe if I lose 10 pounds he would think I looked better”. I know this, because my husband always tells me that I’m beautiful(I hit the jackpot, he’s amazing), but the minute I get alone with myself in front of that daggone mirror, I start telling myself that I should look better, for him. Now, I am all about self betterment; I think that you should want to be a better person for your spouse. That being said, I think that half the time, we are inventing things to not like about ourselves that our husbands don’t mind one bit. Again, we always add the I should be ____ for him. I truly believe that we just add the “for him” so that we don’t feel as guilty for downing ourselves. Because, if we are wanting to better ourselves for our love, clearly that can’t be a bad thing. Yet we are the ones who are unhappy with ourselves, and instead of facing that head-on, we pretend that it’s our husbands who find fault with us. Then, BOOM, insecurity formed.
Another big point of insecurity is “another woman”. I’m going to tell the honest truth now. I have never, in the (almost) 5 years that we have been together, thought that my husband (boyfriend back then) would cheat on me. I still don’t think that he would. I just don’t see that happening with him (cue the women saying that he can and that all it takes is the right woman to come along… but he truly just isn’t like that). Even though I 100% DO NOT think that he would EVER, in a million years, cheat on me… I still get jealous when we are out and another woman looks him up and down (or worse, tries to flirt). It’s like it’s hardwired into me. Even though my brain and my heart both know that he’s not going anywhere, I cannot stand when women try to flirt with him. Even though I know that he is a handsome man and women are going to look at him, I still bristle up at the mere thought of another woman batting her eyes at him. Even though I know that he thinks that I’m beautiful, and he loves me more than anything, I feel insecure whenever I see (what I believe to be) a prettier woman look his way. It, again, is one of those things that has absolutely nothing to do with my husband, but in the way that I perceive myself. Because, again, how can he think that I’m beautiful if I don’t feel that way about myself.
Insecurities are things that just are. They develop for many reasons and it takes a long time and a lot of self-love to get rid of them. It can be done though, and every day my husband makes me feel better about myself by telling me how he sees me instead of letting my focus on how I see myself. Wives, tell your husbands about your insecurities, let them help you. Your husbands are your biggest supporters if you will let them be.
Next, I want to talk about the struggles of being a wife. Now, this is different for every wife out there. Maybe you feel like you do more of the housework (I was thankfully blessed with a man who helps me with the housework and often does most of it before I can even get to it). Maybe, you have a husband that you feel like doesn’t listen to you. Maybe you are in the same boat as me and you feel like you just don’t get enough time with him. Let me explain why we don’t get time. My husband is a full time student for Mechanical Engineering and he works part time. When he gets home, we eat dinner together, and then he has homework until we go to bed. When he doesn’t have homework, he’s so tired that he can barely keep his eyes open. That’s just the reality of marrying young while one of you is still in college (I went to a secondary school and got my training to be a nail tech, so I am able to work full time). Then, with all of this, he helps me with life and with the house, and the cars. I’m pretty sure he’s superman… anyway, there are many things in life that can pull you and your spouse away from each other. The trick is to turn it around and use these hard times, or use your struggles to grow closer together.
It’s not easy by any stretch of the imagination. There are times when you will fight for hours just to realize that you were fighting for no other reason than you were both tired and needed to yell. There are times when you will feel as though there is nothing but distance between the two of you and you don’t know how to fix it (usually fixed with a very long talk and a bit of time spent together). That’s what marriage is… it’s going through these struggles and facing hardships, but doing so together and coming out stronger that before. If you’re in the middle of a rough patch in your marriage right now, talk to your husband, talk to a friend (not the shady one who always blames your husband and tries to get you to leave him, but an honest one who is going to help you through it and give you healthy ways to fix the problem), or even talk to me (I’m always here to talk, by email or by snail mail through my P.O. box)… but know that the rough patches don’t last forever.
Lastly, I want to talk to y’all about the great times. In marriage, for every struggle and every insecurity, there is a great time to counteract it. Marriage itself is having a partner for everything and a support system to get you through any situation. Marriage is having the person, that you love most in this world, help you navigate life. I really think that marriage is one of the greatest things that a person can experience; you are one with your other half and it makes everything so much better.
While it’s not always easy, it always levels out to the great again. If you love your husband with all of your heart, and you know that he feels the same way, nothing can ever break the bond that y’all share. No insecurity, no struggle, and no person, can ever take away the love that you have. Even the small moments are great moments; everything from when he strokes a piece of hair out of your face, to when you finally see him (and can’t help but to smile) after a long day of work. Great times come in many forms and always leave you happy and at peace. So much easier to explain, the great times are whenever you don’t let the struggles and the insecurities cloud your marriage and keep you from remembering how much you love your one-and-only.
I feel like you need the balance of the good and the bad to make the good times seem great and the bad times seem insignificant. My husband is everything to me, he is my support system, my rock, and my love. Treat your husband well and appreciate the things that he does for you. We often don’t thank them enough for doing all that they do for us. Hug them, kiss them, and let them know how much you love them.
This is everything, the raw and honest confessions of a wife. I hope that y’all enjoyed this post and a huge thank you to everyone that takes the time to read it. I encourage you to share this with other wives and I encourage you to comment/reach out to me and let me know what you think. As always, much love!
If you enjoyed this post, check out my post on The Truth About Marriage by clicking here or my post on the 5 Steps To Keep Your Marriage New by clicking here.