Even Broken Things Can Be Beautiful

Even broken things can be beautiful

The other day I was outside and the most beautiful butterfly kept flying near me. It fluttered around for quite a while before it finally landed close enough that I could get a good look at it. The vibrant blue and white nearly glowed against the deep navy of this little creature (the picture really doesn’t do it justice – it’s the butterfly from the image above); and for a moment, I almost didn’t realize that it had a broken wing. The break was small and at the bottom, impossible to notice while it was flying around… and it really got me thinking.

Much like this butterfly, if you pay attention to the people around you, you will notice that most of them keep people at arms length away so that no one has the chance to see the broken parts of their lives. Maybe they want to hide that they aren’t happy with their jobs, financial situation, weight, etc…  or maybe they want to hide that they aren’t happy with themselves as a whole. The bottom line is, it tends to be hard to let someone else see the parts of you that you don’t even want to acknowledge about yourself.

Maybe, you are the one that has been keeping everyone at arms length to hide your broken areas. If that is what you are doing, please please please take a break and “land” near someone. Someone you trust, someone you haven’t talked to in ages, or anyone that you think will listen; just let somebody take the time to see your beauty in its entirety, broken parts and all. The broken parts of us aren’t problems that are meant to be hidden away and never shown to the world. Honestly, it’s often our broken parts that make us stand out in the world and ends up shaping who we become.

I know every time that beautiful little butterfly comes to visit me, because I know what parts are broken… It’s still one of the most beautiful butterflies that I have ever seen, even with that chipped wing. Sometimes, your broken things are how you are able to connect (and even help) others. God always uses our broken things for so much more good than we could ever imagine. Instead of trying to hide what’s broken, use it to do good in the world and make your mark. Let them become your strengths instead of your weaknesses.

The truth is, we’re all a little broken… it’s what you do with that brokenness that counts.

Hey lovelies! I know that this post is a little short, but I know that there are people who needed to hear it, and some things don’t need to be over-complicated… If you read this and you feel like you have no one to “land next to”, please reach out to me; I will listen. Thank you for taking time to read and I hope that you enjoyed it, as always, God Bless and much love!

1 Peter 4:19- “So then let those who suffer according to the will of God entrust their souls to a faithful Creator as they do good.”

If you enjoyed this post, check out my post on why I Choose Happiness

Why I Chose SiteGround Hosting

Why I Chose SiteGround

(This post contains affiliate links at no additional cost to you. All products are products that I use and would recommend to my friends and family. To see more on my affiliate policy, view my disclaimer)

 

Click HERE to see if SiteGround is right for you!

 

Hey everyone! I just wanted to spend a little bit of time talking about the main reasons that I chose SiteGround Hosting. Please keep in mind that even though I am going to be posting my affiliate link for SiteGround, I wouldn’t recommend it if I didn’t love it and think that it was worth sharing with you guys. Without droning on, here is the list, enjoy!

 

 

  • Easy To Use- I found SiteGround while I was looking for self-hosting platforms. Basically, I didn’t know if I was really cut out for this “whole blogging thing”, but I knew that I wanted to set myself up for success. Success in the blogging world means monetization and outreach, which essentially means that you need a platform that will set you up for success when you have no clue what you are doing. While researching around, I kept seeing SiteGround pop up and figured it would be worth looking into and I’m glad I did. They had everything broken down in terms that I could understand (I’m not all that tech savvy, so having a start up plan really helped me figure out what I was doing). They made it so so easy for me to get started. They have three plans set up for starting up, growing, and “web geeks”. Of course, I went with the StartUp plan, and began my journey. Their 24/7 tech support was a life-saver when I was struggling to figure out this crazy web world on my own. Truthfully though, I didn’t need too much support because they walk you through everything while you are setting up.
  • Money Back Guarantee- One of the things that I really liked about SiteGround, was that they had a 30 day money back guarantee. That right there put my mind at ease in a major way. I had never done anything like this, and while I knew that I was feeling the call to blog, I didn’t know if I would be any good at it. The thought of being able to get my money back if this thing didn’t work out, made me feel a ton better. The thing is, I have loved SiteGround since the beginning and never thought about backing out once I got started.
  • Price- If you are like me, then you work hard for your money and the thought of spending it on something, like a blog, can seem scary at first. I remember pouring over tons of different platforms looking for one that had the best prices for the best plans. I remember jumping from site to site until I landed on SiteGround. They run special prices all of the time and the amount of stuff that you get is crazy. Like I said earlier, they have 3 tiers of plans; StartUp is “crafted for a great web start and suitable for 10,000 visits monthly”, GrowBig is “crafted for your web growth and suitable for 25,000 visits monthly”, and GoGeek is “crafted for real web geeks and suitable for 100,000 visits monthly”. The best thing about it, you can start with StartUp and switch to other plans as your blog grows. If you want to check out more on their prices and plans, click here to visit the SiteGround hosting website.

 

These are the three main reasons that I chose, and love, SiteGround. They have been an absolutely amazing company to work with, and I would highly recommend trying them out! Thank you for taking the time to read and, as always, God Bless!

 

Click HERE to see if SiteGround is right for you!

 

If you enjoyed this post, check out my post on 5 Things You Need To Know About Blogging or Why I Blog

I Choose Happiness

I choose happiness… in a world that chooses money.

I choose happiness… in a world that focuses on the negative.

I choose happiness… in a world that chooses material things over people.

I choose happiness… in a time that there seems to be little of it.

I choose happiness… in a world where it’s not part of the equation for success.

I choose happiness… even though others think it’s silly.

 

I choose happiness… because at the end of the day, it doesn’t matter how much money I have, how much stuff I’ve bought, whether I’m successful in other people’s eyes, or what others think. When my life is said and done, I want to look back and know that I have done good works, and that I chose happiness over the things of this world. Something my grandma has always said (that used to drive me crazy) was that ‘only you can make you happy’. The thing is, the older I get, the more I believe it. Things are nice, but the ‘nice’ fades after a while; same with careers, cars, hobbies, etc… Pure happiness comes from your outlook on life.

Yes, it is much easier said than done to be happy in the face of every situation. I struggle with it greatly, more than I’d like to admit, but it’s true. I have seen people go through some of the toughest situations, and their positivity towards what was happening, and their trust of God,  just absolutely baffled me. It left me thinking “How can I feel bad for this person, when they don’t even feel bad for themselves?”. It completely changed the situation from something terrible, to part of the life that they felt joy to live.

I would say that there are only two things in your life that can provide you with pure happiness, yourself and God. Having a right relationship with God will fuel you with more joy than you could ever imagine… and when He sends you through a valley (I know, we don’t like it, but it’s part of His plan to shape us into who we are meant to be), your outlook on life and God’s plan for you will be what keeps you feeling joy until you are back on top of the mountain.

Lately, I have had a lot of people asking me what I want to do with the rest of my life, and if I’m being honest with you, I don’t know. I don’t feel like I have found my purpose for life yet, but I know that God will reveal it to me in time. So, even though I am feeling a bit lost right now (you know I have to be honest with y’all), I am going to keep telling people that I choose happiness. I don’t want to look back on my life and have all of these regrets because I chased the things of this world, so I will wait patiently until God tells me to move towards purpose and in the meantime, I will keep choosing to be happy.

 

Hey guys, I know that this wasn’t a long post, but I felt like I needed to write it. Truthfully, I needed to hear it myself right now, so I’m sure that there are others who need to hear it as well. It’s okay to struggle and feel lost, just hang on to choosing happiness and hang on to God. Psalm 30:5 says – For His anger lasts only a short time. But His favor is for life. Crying may last for a night, but joy comes with the new day.

Always remember that your happiness, your joy, comes in the morning and that the hardships of life won’t last… even when it feels like that’s all you’ve been having. Keep your head held high and your prayers sent higher. If you ever need to talk to someone, know that you can always talk to me. Thank y’all so much for reading and God bless!

 

If you enjoyed this post, you can visit some of my others by clicking on the titles below:

From Rock Bottom To Rock Solid (A Story Of Renewed Faith)

Everyone has, at some point in their life, heard the phrase “when you hit rock bottom, that’s when you start looking up”. I had heard it plenty, seen it plenty, and read it plenty… but it was really nothing more than a cliché inspirational phrase. I certainly never thought of it as a “faith phrase”. I had heard it said as a faith phrase, but I truly never saw a connection from the saying to my life. Until I hit my rock bottom.
Now, before I go any further, everyone’s rock bottom is different and yes, you can have more than one in your life, but this happened to be the roughest patch that I have personally been through.
My back went out, not a little, but a barely-able-to-move blowout. One day I was hurting, but functional, and the next I was unable to put my own shirt over my head. Even little things like sitting down/standing up were difficult at best. All I knew was that something was very wrong and I didn’t know to what extent. After a trip to the doctor and several days of rough and unexplained pain, they found that my spine was curved the opposite way and it was causing nerve and muscle pain/problems. After a few months of rehab split between a chiropractor and a physical therapist, I was feeling much better and finally functional again. The thing is, this was a very trying time for me, physically and mentally.
At that point in my life, my faith seemed to be at an all time low (even though I was in denial about it at that time) and my back going out was the icing on the cake of rocked faith. You see, at first diagnosis, they didn’t know if I’d ever be able to go back to my job (nail technician) again. That’s not a big deal for a lot of people, but those of you that know me, know that I trained to be a nail technician straight out of high school and my husband is in his senior year of college (yes, he works, very hard, but he has to go to part time during his school months). We make enough to live happily and have money for some of the things we want, but having one of us out of work for an extended length of time was not good and the thought of not being able to go back to the only field I’m really trained in was even worse.
We made it through (thank you God for help and for letting us have put back money). I was out of work for almost three months and had to baby step back in for a while after, but I was able to return to the career I had been building. So, I tell you guys all of this, not to get pity, but to prove that “when you hit rock bottom, that’s when you start looking up” is one of the truest phrases there is. During my time out, I spent a lot of time on the couch – on my phone. There wasn’t much else I could do (I could barely walk). One day I came across a video on Facebook of Pastor Michael Todd from Transformation Church. He was preaching a series called Relationship Goals, and after about a minute I was hooked. I proceeded to watch about 3 of the videos from that series (1 hour long each) and I was in tears by the end of every one. The next day I watched the remaining sermons from that series. The following day, I started another one of his series. This continued and is still going on now (his Grace Like A Flood series just ended and let me tell y’all, it was life changing). I had started to find faith like I had never had before. It was like everything around me changed and for the first time in years, I was getting in my Bible again and praying with my heart, not just my words.
In a time where I felt helpless, hopeless, scared of the future, and downright worthless, I realized that God was with me. I had help, hope, a future, and worth, through HIM! Y’all, I am just going to be real with you, I went from crying everyday from anger and sadness, to crying tears of joy! From that moment on, my faith had been renewed. Looking back, I needed that time out to reconnect with God. Now, I’m grateful for something I once thought was the worst point in my life.
Our God is so good, when I felt at my lowest, He put his hand down and was ready for the exact moment that I started looking up. I’m not perfect by any means, and I still have days that I struggle with frustration at not knowing His plans for me, but I haven’t doubted his love for me since. I make it a point to put God first and have him be the center of my life. I make it a point to trust His plans for me more than my own, and I don’t go a day without thanking him for everything that he has done for me.
If you are at rock bottom, whatever your rock bottom may be, please please please realize that God is still with you, all you need to do is start looking up.
Isaiah 41:10 – So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

My Return

Hey everyone! I am so sorry that I have been away so long (medical and technical issues), but I am back! Today I just want to take a moment of your time to say hello, how much I’ve missed y’all, and that I’m so excited to see what will happen as we move forward with thelampandthelamb.com!

So, hello and boy have I missed you guys! It’s wild to think of how fulfilling my little blog has been… I know that it isn’t crazy big yet and there may only be a few people that see what I post, but knowing that it could touch one life gives me pure joy. I cannot thank God enough for having pushed me to blogging!

I know that this post won’t be very long, but I wanted to baby step back in after so much time away and I wanted to set up what my plans are for moving forward. Since I truly believe that my blog is part of my purpose, I am going to start treating it less like a job and more like a life plan.

While away, I have really had a re-birth and growth of faith that I have never expierenced before, and I definitely want it to reflect in my posts. I feel like God has big plans for this blog and I can’t wait to see where He takes it!

Thank y’ou for taking the time to read and there will be more coming soon (new schedule update and new posts). To make sure you don’t miss anything, make sure to subscribe and as always, y’all, much love and God bless!

New Year – Same Me

New Year - Same Me

Hey y’all! So, if you read my last post, you’ll know that this post is about why I chose “New Year – Same Me” as my January 2018 monthly theme and what it means. Now, bear with me, as I’ve been struggling to put my thoughts on this into words. I think that this is partly because “New Year – Same Me” is a concept that I really want people to get behind and feel on the same level that I do, and partly because it’s hard to describe what it truly is without sounding redundant.

New Year – Same Me simply means that you spend the new year embracing (and learning to love) the person that you are instead of focusing on trying to be a different person all together. I understand that the “New Me” portion of “New Year – New Me” doesn’t mean that you are trying to be a different person, but think of the normal new year habits… For the first few weeks, most of us spend time working towards these new year goals and resolutions like they are all that matters. We spend so many hours and so much money on these goals that are typically formed (maybe) a month before. Now, don’t get me wrong, I am all about working towards being a better person.

Here’s the thing; I think that goals should be set realistically and without a certain aspect of “peer pressure” or “societal pressure”. Basically, set goals because you have something that you would like to achieve; don’t set them because someone (or a holiday) is telling you too. Another thing is that I believe people have this crazy notion that a new year means that everything bad that happened in the last year will be washed away. Well, as much as I hate to point it out… that’s not the case. The past year still happened, the good and the bad, it’s not just going to go away.

My point to all of this (this post, this theme, and the way that I’m feeling) is just to tell y’all to spend this new year embracing what has already been you this whole time. Take everything that happened in the past year (and the years before it) and learn from it. Take the time to sit down and go through what you liked, what you didn’t, what you felt you could have improved on, and what you want to do moving forward. This new year is a blessing. It’s another chance to do the things that you haven’t done yet.

Set goals, but do so in a healthy manner and apply realistic timing to your results. Heck, join in communities of people that are going after the same goal to help you keep on track. Being a better you isn’t a bad thing at all. In fact, you should always strive to be a better person than you were the day before. So, take this new year and use it to do fantastic things. Use it to learn how to love the you that you’ve always been and use it to improve the things that you aren’t happy with.

I hope that y’all enjoyed this post and I hope that your new year started off great! There will be more coming soon, so be sure to subscribe or check back in later. Below, I’ve listed just a few “New Year – Same Me” challenges to help get the new year rolling in the right direction. As always, much love!

 

New Year – Same Me Challenges:

 

  • Spend an evening with your family, without having your cell phone/tablet glued to your side. (Connect with them without letting social media and messaging get in the way)
  • Take some time to try new things. (Maybe you try a new restaurant that you’ve had your eye on, a new style that you’ve been thinking about testing, or even a new workout routine)
  • Spend some time on yourself. (Try to relax a little and don’t forget to take care of yourself)
  • Go for that promotion or apply to your dream job. (Learn to not keep yourself from moving forward because you’re scared of a “no”)
  • Make a list of goals that you would like to achieve and hang it up in a place where you will see it every day. (Be sure to set realistic goals and timelines and don’t give up!)

 

The Lamp & The Lamb – 2018 Plans

Hey everyone! I hope that your Holidays were great and that you are ready for the new year! Since this is my first post of 2018 (insert excited “woop” here), I have so much to share with you guys! So, if you have been following my blog, you will know that I’ve taken some time off recently… but don’t worry, I’m not leaving. I’ve just been getting things ready for the new year and getting myself organized so that I can provide better content and a reliable posting schedule. That’s not all though… there are some BIG changes coming to the blog this year. That’s right, I’m talking some really awesome stuff that I think y’all will like (can’t give away all my secrets yet), keep on reading for a sneak peak of what’s to come this year.

To kick off this new year, every month moving forward will have a theme. For January 2018, the theme is New Year – Same Me. I will be releasing a post about why I chose this theme and what it means very soon, but I can’t wait for you guys to see each month’s theme and how it shapes the content that I will be putting out this year. My hope is that these themes will also inspire you to make the most out of each month and maybe even give you some ideas of how to do so.

Next, I will be opening up a few posts for collaborations! This is something that is very new to me and I am beyond excited to explore this area of blogging. I feel like collaborating with other bloggers will not only give more information to whatever topic the post is on, but it will also bring in new perspectives. If you are interested in doing a collab with me, you can always reach out to me at my email, or pm me on my Facebook and Instagram accounts.

Don’t think that I’m done yet, along with monthly themes and the start of collaborations, I want to start engaging more feedback from y’all, my readers. I have been toying with the idea of incorporating videos or podcasts into my blog for a while now and I would love to know what you guys think of this idea. If you want me to do this or something like it, be sure to comment what you would like to see, or like this post.

These few things are just the start of the wonderful things that I’ve got planned for this year. I would love to tell you more, but I have certain things that I want to reveal as the year goes on and other things that are still in the brainstorming process. I hope that y’all are as excited for this new year as I am and I’ll see y’all in my next post. As always, much love!

Christmas Gifts To Get The Person Who “Has Everything”

This post contains affiliate links at no additional cost to you. I only recommend things that I do/would use/give to family and friends.

Hello all! Today I want to talk to you guys about something that time is ticking down on… That’s right, Christmas is coming. This week is going to be gone in the blink of an eye and Christmas is going to be here. Among other things, this means that if you don’t have gifts for everyone on your list, time is running out. If you’re racking your brain and coming up with nothing more than a card with money (which, I believe, is always a good gift) then worry no more. I’m going to give you the easiest  way to decide what to get for the person in your life who “has everything”.

These people are hard to buy for because they either have everything that they say they need/want, or they say that they don’t need/want anything. First you have to determine which type of person they are.

Person one is someone that goes out and buys everything as the year goes on and it’s near impossible to think of something that you could get them that they wouldn’t already have. These are the people that you have to kind of think in terms of “what wouldn’t they buy for themselves”. Now, this is probably not a long list, but if you think hard and long enough, you can come up with something that they may have never even thought of.

For the food-loving men in your life, that have it all,  you can get things like crates of exotic jerky (click HERE to view) and crates of BACON (click HERE to see the bacon sampler crate). I mean you really can’t go wrong with bacon and jerky! These crates come with an assortment of mouth watering jerkies/bacons and I am drooling just thinking about these. This is such a great gift for the guys in your life that gravitate towards meat more than anything else. This will let them try something new while allowing you to get them a gift that they most likely would never think to get for themselves.

For the women in your life that have everything, you can get something for pampering. That’s right, spa gift baskets! There are a couple of ways you can go about getting an awesome gift basket. You can get the “Premium Deluxe Bath and Body Gift Basket”, which contains 19 Lavender and Chamomile items! I’m going to put the list of what this comes with just because I am blown away by this basket… It has,

Stress Release Bubble Bath, Body Wash with Shea Butter, Hair Replenish Shampoo, Skin Loving Hand Cream, Skin Repairing Body Butter, Aromatherapy Bath Salts, Shea Butter Bath Caviar, 3 Fizzy Bath Bombs, Handmade Essential Oil Soap Bar, Lavender Chamomile Body Mist, Hand-poured Aromatherapy Candle, Wooden Reflexology Stick, Pumice & Brush Combo Stick, Spa Bath Mitts, Luxury Comfort Spa Slippers, Extra Long back scrubber loofah, Mesh Bath Pouf

I mean holy crap! This would be such an amazing gift for a special woman in your life! That being said, it is a bit on the high end for price, but it’s completely worth it (click HERE to see this crazy awesome basket). If you don’t want to spend quite this much on a present, you can always get the “I Think You’re Wonderful Gift Basket” that has 10 items. This basket is packed with HANDMADE and NATURAL products; yes please! I mean, this is just an awesome gift, hands down (click HERE to see this super cool basket).

Okay, I got slightly sidetracked with really cool gifts, but I’m back on point and ready to get to the next person. So, person two is the first person we see that doesn’t necessarily have a WANT for gifts. I would suggest asking them first, but a lot of times these people end up valuing EXPERIENCES over tangible gifts. This type of person is so easy to get for. I know, you are probably rolling your eyes at me right now, but I am so serious. Just take them somewhere that you know that they love or spend a day with them going to different stores that they enjoy. If you give them the gift of time and memories, you pretty much can’t go wrong.

The last type of person doesn’t WANT gifts for themselves; they want for others. Let me explain, they want you to take the money that you were planning to spend on them, and spend it on someone else instead. This type of person typically would rather you donate to a charity that they support or give a gift to a family/person in need  than get them a gift.

That’s the three type of people that are labeled “difficult” to shop for because they “have everything”. If you take anything away from this post, I hope that you have learned to think outside of the box with your gifts and if someone says “I don’t want anything”, instead of just dismissing their statement, talk to them about why they don’t want anything. I am a combination of the person who would rather have an experience, and the person that would rather see the money spent on a person/cause that needs it more. Now, don’t get me wrong, I appreciate tangible gifts on a major level as well. In my opinion, every gift and every type of gift is great because someone took their time, money, and energy to do something nice for you.

Finding gifts doesn’t have to be a hard process. Just let loose, have fun, and get gifts from your heart instead of your brain. As always, much love and Merry Christmas!

Christmas Cheer

Hey y’all! I hope that your Thanksgiving was filled with food, family, and friends! I’m sorry I didn’t post last Thursday like normal, but I was stuffing my face with all sorts of yummy foods. That being said, I’m back to my regular posting schedule again (New Pay It Forward Challenge and More on Life every Monday and a 5 Things every Thursday). So, today I want to talk a little bit about Christmas cheer. What is it? Why is it? Why should you care? I’ll tell you what I think.

What Is Christmas cheer? So simple, Christmas cheer is that feeling that (a lot) of people get when the Christmas season rolls in each year. You either know the people that I’m talking about, or you are one. To me Christmas cheer is turning on the Christmas music as soon as the radio stations will play it, decorating your house directly after you put up your Halloween decorations, and delighting in the stores Christmas displays “finally” (sometimes before Halloween, but not going to say anything) being put out. Christmas cheer is having these Christmas songs provide nostalgia and trigger memories of Christmas tree decorating and the smell of sugar cookies baking in the oven. Christmas cheer is a feeling that is unique only to this time of year and can’t be duplicated with any other season or seasonal holiday.

Why is Christmas cheer (yes, I realize that question doesn’t look like it makes much sense, but trust me on this)? In other words, Why does this feeling of cheer run so rampant through our biggest holiday? The answer to this is one that differs for everybody. To me, it is a big time for my faith, it is a big time to be with my family/ friends and those I don’t get to see often, and it is a time where the chaos of life seems to die down a bit and allow me to focus on the things that I find most important. Put these things together, and I have a joy that surpasses the joy that I’ve felt throughout the year. Beyond this, it’s unexplainable. The combination of cold air and Christmas everything bring out old memories while making new ones and I can’t help but smile at the way life changes over time and how the people around us do too. I’m not saying that every waking minute of the Christmas season is the best thing ever, but I do believe that it holds more happiness than any other time of the year (even summer… shocking, I know). I also think that the Christmas season tends to bring out the “giving nature” of those that don’t seem to possess it any other time of the year. Something about everything that’s going on just makes your heart pull a bit more to help others, and I think that it’s wonderful.

Here’s the big one… Why should you care? The reason that you should care about Christmas cheer is not complex in the slightest. You should care because it gives you the opportunity to do great things. I’m not talking about super powers or the ability to skyrocket your career (though how cool would that be); I’m talking about the ability to do great things for others. If you have spent any amount of time with me, or if you have read any of my posts/ Pay It Forward Challenges, you will have noticed that I want the world to be filled with a little more Jesus and a little less meanness. While ugliness is unavoidable in life, we have the ability to spread a little kindness and give a little faith to those around us. As I mentioned earlier, something about the season tends to bring out this nature in more people and it is a wonderful thing. You should care about Christmas cheer because it helps to motivate more people (myself included, and hopefully you too) to make this world a truly better place even if it’s only for a couple of months. New Year’s might think that the phrase “new year, new me” applies to it, but I think otherwise. I see the most change in people during Christmas. While joy runs rampant, kindness grows, and people that wouldn’t speak normally share a conversation, there is so much to care about.

During this Christmas season, my hope for you all is that you take Christmas cheer and you run with it. I hope that you make new memories while thinking about the old ones and that you spread kindness every chance that you get. So many people need a helping hand and a generous heart to impact their lives; this time of year is perfect for getting that ball rolling. I hope that you do things not for recognition, but for betterment of the world around you. To all who read and those who may never see it, I hope that happiness is abundant in your Christmas season and I hope that you spread the happiness to others. As always, much love!

 

If you enjoyed today’s post, check out this week’s Pay It Forward Challenge by clicking here.

Confessions Of A Wife

Hey everyone! Like always, I want to keep things real with y’all. So, today I want to talk about being a wife. Oh yes, I’m talking about the struggles, the great times, and the insecurities. Everything out in the open, no lies, no fluff, all 100% real life. Wives, you can (most likely) relate; husbands, y’all might want to read for additional information. To all who read, let’s do this. The real starts now.

First, I want to talk to y’all about the insecurities. I think that everyone at some point in their lives will feel insecure about something. For wives, I think that insecurities are very much the same as high shcool girls. I don’t care if our husbands tell us how beautiful we are 10 times a day or 100 times a day, we will always find flaws with ourselves. I can almost guarantee that you, as a wife, have looked in the mirror and thought “Well, maybe if I lose 10 pounds he would think I looked better”. I know this, because my husband always tells me that I’m beautiful(I hit the jackpot, he’s amazing), but the minute I get alone with myself in front of that daggone mirror, I start telling myself that I should look better, for him. Now, I am all about self betterment; I think that you should want to be a better person for your spouse. That being said, I think that half the time, we are inventing things to not like about ourselves that our husbands don’t mind one bit. Again, we always add the I should be ____ for him. I truly believe that we just add the “for him” so that we don’t feel as guilty for downing ourselves. Because, if we are wanting to better ourselves for our love, clearly that can’t be a bad thing. Yet we are the ones who are unhappy with ourselves, and instead of facing that head-on, we pretend that it’s our husbands who find fault with us. Then, BOOM, insecurity formed.

Another big point of insecurity is “another woman”. I’m going to tell the honest truth now. I have never, in the (almost) 5 years that we have been together, thought that my husband (boyfriend back then) would cheat on me. I still don’t think that he would. I just don’t see that happening with him (cue the women saying that he can and that all it takes is the right woman to come along… but he truly just isn’t like that). Even though I 100% DO NOT think that he would EVER, in a million years, cheat on me… I still get jealous when we are out and another woman looks him up and down (or worse, tries to flirt). It’s like it’s hardwired into me. Even though my brain and my heart both know that he’s not going anywhere, I cannot stand when women try to flirt with him. Even though I know that he is a handsome man and women are going to look at him, I still bristle up at the mere thought of another woman batting her eyes at him. Even though I know that he thinks that I’m beautiful, and he loves me more than anything, I feel insecure whenever I see (what I believe to be) a prettier woman look his way. It, again, is one of those things that has absolutely nothing to do with my husband, but in the way that I perceive myself. Because, again, how can he think that I’m beautiful if I don’t feel that way about myself.

Insecurities are things that just are. They develop for many reasons and it takes a long time and a lot of self-love to get rid of them. It can be done though, and every day my husband makes me feel better about myself by telling me how he sees me instead of letting my focus on how I see myself. Wives, tell your husbands about your insecurities, let them help you. Your husbands are your biggest supporters if you will let them be.

Next, I want to talk about the struggles of being a wife. Now, this is different for every wife out there. Maybe you feel like you do more of the housework (I was thankfully blessed with a man who helps me with the housework and often does most of it before I can even get to it). Maybe, you have a husband that you feel like doesn’t listen to you. Maybe you are in the same boat as me and you feel like you just don’t get enough time with him. Let me explain why we don’t get time. My husband is a full time student for Mechanical Engineering and he works part time. When he gets home, we eat dinner together, and then he has homework until we go to bed. When he doesn’t have homework, he’s so tired that he can barely keep his eyes open. That’s just the reality of marrying young while one of you is still in college (I went to a secondary school and got my training to be a nail tech, so I am able to work full time). Then, with all of this, he helps me with life and with the house, and the cars. I’m pretty sure he’s superman… anyway, there are many things in life that can pull you and your spouse away from each other. The trick is to turn it around and use these hard times, or use your struggles to grow closer together.

It’s not easy by any stretch of the imagination. There are times when you will fight for hours just to realize that you were fighting for no other reason than you were both tired and needed to yell. There are times when you will feel as though there is nothing but distance between the two of you and you don’t know how to fix it (usually fixed with a very long talk and a bit of time spent together). That’s what marriage is… it’s going through these struggles and facing hardships, but doing so together and coming out stronger that before. If you’re in the middle of a rough patch in your marriage right now, talk to your husband, talk to a friend (not the shady one who always blames your husband and tries to get you to leave him, but an honest one who is going to help you through it and give you healthy ways to fix the problem), or even talk to me (I’m always here to talk, by email or by snail mail through my P.O. box)… but know that the rough patches don’t last forever.

Lastly, I want to talk to y’all about the great times. In marriage, for every struggle and every insecurity, there is a great time to counteract it. Marriage itself is having a partner for everything and a support system to get you through any situation. Marriage is having the person, that you love most in this world, help you navigate life. I really think that marriage is one of the greatest things that a person can experience; you are one with your other half and it makes everything so much better.

While it’s not always easy, it always levels out to the great again. If you love your husband with all of your heart, and you know that he feels the same way, nothing can ever break the bond that y’all share. No insecurity, no struggle, and no person, can ever take away the love that you have. Even the small moments are great moments; everything from when he strokes a piece of hair out of your face, to when you finally see him (and can’t help but to smile) after a long day of work. Great times come in many forms and always leave you happy and at peace. So much easier to explain, the great times are whenever you don’t let the struggles and the insecurities cloud your marriage and keep you from remembering how much you love your one-and-only.

I feel like you need the balance of the good and the bad to make the good times seem great and the bad times seem insignificant. My husband is everything to me, he is my support system, my rock, and my love. Treat your husband well and appreciate the things that he does for you. We often don’t thank them enough for doing all that they do for us. Hug them, kiss them, and let them know how much you love them.

This is everything, the raw and honest confessions of a wife. I hope that y’all enjoyed this post and a huge thank you to everyone that takes the time to read it. I encourage you to share this with other wives and I encourage you to comment/reach out to me and let me know what you think. As always, much love!

If you enjoyed this post, check out my post on The Truth About Marriage by clicking here or my post on the 5 Steps To Keep Your Marriage New by clicking here.