To the woman I was a year ago,
I want to start by saying I’m sorry. I’m sorry for all of the harsh words, the self doubt, the lack of faith, and the lack of motivation and direction that I put you through. I’m sorry that I pointed out what was wrong with you more than I gave you praise for the things that you were doing right. I’m sorry that I spent so much time putting you through unneeded worry and stress. I’m sorry for the time that I wasted on worrying that you wouldn’t be able to accomplish big things. I’m sorry, most of all, that I doubted your worth.
I want to tell you to please enjoy this year. I know that It’s full of hardships and trials… I know that there are days that you feel like you can’t even get out of bed… I want you to know that it’s okay. Get up anyway. Brush your hair and your teeth, drink some water, and if you feel like that’s all you can do that day, call it a win and go back to bed. Please don’t beat yourself up over the days that that’s all you can do. I know how tired you are, I also know that you’re trying so hard. Don’t give up. Small victories are still victories. Better days are coming, even if you can’t see that yet.
Learn to accept help. You will need it, and that’s okay. You aren’t a burden. There are people in this world that want to help you, I promise. Please let them help you. I know that you want to do it all on your own, but there are things in your life that are beyond your capabilities at this time. It’s perfectly okay to need others. Your husband, your family, your friends, they want to help you. They love you. One day, you will love you too.
Life is not going to go according to your plan. I want you to know that you accept that and learn to trust God like never before. Your faith will grow in ways that you never imagined. You will make it through what feels like the darkest time of your life and you are stronger because of it. You don’t get all the answers that you are looking for, but you won’t stop looking for them.
As I write all of this to you, I know that there seems to be more bad than good… If I’m being honest, you have a hard year ahead of you… but, looking back, I wouldn’t change one bit of it. I am who I am today because of the woman you were then. Things have changed, drastically and for the better. You are much kinder to yourself now, and you have learned that life is much better when you share it with those close to you. Your faith has grown immensely and you are still working on growing it more. For the first time in a while, you are truly happy.
If you enjoyed this post, check out Far From Perfect – Close To Happy and Treating Yourself With The Same Kindness You’d Give Others.