Hello all! To start, I really wanted my first in depth blog post to be something close to my heart. I’m going to be real and honest with you guys (in this post and all other posts) about the good, the bad, and the ugly. Today, I want to talk about marriage. I want to touch on the differences between real marriage and the “idea” of marriage… because, trust me, they are two completely different things and I want to talk about sticking with the marriage even if times are tough.
The idea of marriage manifests in thoughts of super fun, stress free, wedding planning and then a perfect wedding where nothing at all goes wrong. This perfect wedding leads to a life of waking up early to enjoy breakfast together, spending the whole day together, and ending the night with a perfect, no hassle (yet elaborate), dinner. This of course is capped with the thought that a life of bliss will follow with little to no hardships. Well, let me provide a little reality for you (people who aren’t married – pay attention, newlyweds – get ready, and those who are married – you’ll know what I mean). Real marriage is hard, it’s messy, it’s work. Real marriage is fighting hardships, trying to survive life, putting in as much (if not more) work at home as you do at your job. Real marriage is fighting over the simplest things (major fights). It’s holding your spouse’s hair/head while they are sick (which, truthfully is always gross… vomit is never fun). It’s having days where you or your spouse are mad at something completely unrelated to home, but you take it out on each other. It’s always putting someone else first. Real marriage is one of the absolute hardest things to do in life… but it is also worth every minute of it. Because, at the end of the day, real marriage is having someone you love be your teammate for life. It’s having a support system whenever you do something and having the person that you love most in this world help you with life. Real marriage is knowing that you face all hardships and difficulties together instead of alone and that all of the things that you do for them (like putting them first, letting them vent, and holding their hair/head when they get sick), they do for you too. It is having seasoned love that has stood the test of time, but having moments where you look at the person you love and feel every butterfly that you felt when you had just started dating. The “idea” of marriage seems nice, but real marriage is better than any “idea” could ever be.
Now, I want to talk about tough times and getting through them. Make no mistake, at some point in your lives times are going to be hard (for 9.999999999% of people). I hear, more often than not, that life is on track for a couple and that they have everything worked out and nothing will go wrong. While that is a lovely thought, it is merely a thought and doesn’t reflect the real world. Maybe it’s with a job, maybe it’s about the house, maybe finances are tight, maybe it’s even about the marriage… but try your absolute hardest to work through it. By that, I don’t mean just put in the bare minimum of effort and try to work it out for a week before you give up completely on the situation and your spouse; I mean take every ounce of effort that you can muster and throw it into that situation. Use the hardship as a tool to grow closer to the one you love instead of falling apart. The biggest thing, is DON’T GIVE UP. Don’t give up on the situation, don’t give up on your spouse, and don’t give up on yourself. Every situation can be conquered. Give it to God, pray like you have never prayed before, and don’t give up. I have always heard that marriage is a 50/50 relationship, but that is so wrong. Marriage is a 100/100 relationship because you both have to put all of yourselves in to get the most out. Like I said before, it is hard, but it is worth it. If you use every difficulty that you face as a tool to grow closer (to God and to your spouse), there is no limit to how strong your marriage will be.
To my husband, I love you more than anything and thank you for supporting me in this crazy thing called life.
To all of you, married or not, I encourage you to share this with your family and friends. Show your dating and engaged family/friends to let them know the truth and show your married family/friends to give them a smile. As always, leave a comment and let me know what you think about this post. Much love!
If you enjoyed this post, check out 5 Steps To Keep Your Marriage New!